Schwarz Gets A New Pain
by Nio
Summary: Schuldig, Nagi, And Farfello get sent to find an unknown chibi who has the power to control elements, once they manage to find her they are forced to deal with what has been labelled 'The Chibi from Hell' RR please
1. Schwarz Finds Trouble

Dark: Yes I know...I am a fruit....but I was bored and I felt like playing around and torturing Schu even thought I love him to death! *glomps Schu*And no I don't like Nagi.... Schu: SOMEONE GET HER OFF ME!! Dark:*squeezes tighter* And no again..it is not all humorous..  
  
  
  
Schuldig: Why must I be stuck finding a brat so she and her "powers"*twists his face* can help us... *continues to whine under his breath*  
  
Nagi:Oh shut up Schuldig...I don't want to be here either...Why couldn't Brad do this again?!  
  
Schuldig: Now who's whining?!?!  
  
Both: *Nagi & Schuldig are inturpted as Farfello runs by cackling insanely chasing a bat*((don't ask and yes tis' at night))  
  
Farfello:CHASING BATS HURTS GOD!  
  
Schuldig: He really needs help...  
  
Nagi:Your just now figuring that out?  
  
Schuldig: Shut up Nagilypuff  
  
Nagi:*sticks out his tongue, but retracts it watching Farf run by with a knife in hand*  
  
Schuldig:*snickers*  
  
Nagi:*considers throwing Schuldig off the roof or telling Farf that killing Schuldich hurts god*  
  
Schuldig: Don't even think about it...  
  
Nagi: To late..er I mean think about what?  
  
Schuldig: You know what!  
  
Nagi: Nu uh!  
  
Schuldig: Un huh!  
  
Nagi: Nu uh!  
  
Schuldig: Un huh!  
  
Nagi: Nu uh!  
  
Schuldig: Un huh!  
  
Nagi: Nu uh!  
  
Schuldig: Un huh!  
  
Nagi: Nu uh!  
  
Schuldig: Un huh!  
  
Nagi: Nu uh!  
  
Schuldig: Un huh!  
  
Nagi: Nu uh!  
  
Schuldig: Un huh!  
  
Nagi: Nu uh!  
  
Schuldig: Un huh!  
  
Nagi: Nu uh!  
  
Schuldig: Un huh!  
  
Nagi: Nu uh!  
  
Schuldig: Un huh!  
  
Nagi: Oh forget it!  
  
Schuldig: I win!  
  
Nagi: How can you win?! We weren't playing a game!  
  
Schuldig:I still won!  
  
Nagi:*sticks out his tongue again*  
  
Schuldig:*grabs his tongue*  
  
Nagi: ECK!  
  
Farfello: *runs up beside Schuldig and Nagi raises his knife and tries to stab Nagi's tongue*  
  
Schuldig: AAAAAAGGGGHHHHH! *Let's go Nagi's tongue and stumbles backwards*  
  
Nagi:AAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE! *Lets out a girly scream and falls on his butt scooting backwards*  
  
Farfello:*misses Nagi's tongue and stumbles over the edge falling three stories before his pants get caught on a flag pole* WHEE!!!  
  
Schuldig:*Peaks over the edge of the building* Farfello is a freak...  
  
Nagi:*peaks over the edge as well* Again your just realizing that?  
  
Schuldig:Don't start!  
  
Nagi: Can we leave him down there?  
  
Schuldig:NO!  
  
Nagi:*Whines*  
  
Schuldig:Well? Get him down from there!  
  
Nagi:*Whines again and levitates Farfello back onto the roof*  
  
Farfello:*goes back to chasing bats*  
  
Nagi:He would have been better off down there...  
  
Schuldig:Ya ya..  
  
Farfello:*Runs by again only this time chasing a black haired chibi carrying his knife*GET BACK HERE WITH THAT!  
  
Chibi: NNNNNNNNOOOOOOO!! GET IT AWAY FROM ME!!!  
  
Nagi:*raises an eyebrow and pokes Schuldig in the side*  
  
Schuldig: Stop that damnit!  
  
Nagi:*points as Farfello chases the chibi in a large circle*  
  
Schuldig:Ô_o Uuuuuhhhhh...  
  
Nagi: Isn't that her?  
  
Schuldig: Who?  
  
Nagi: WHO WE'RE LOOKING FOR!  
  
Schuldig: Oh..ya..  
  
Nagi:Well shouldn't we go get her before Farf actually catchs her and literally skins her alive...  
  
Schuldig:If we didn't we wouldn't have to bring her all the way back and deal with her until she dies...  
  
Nagi:*rolls his eyes* Ur genius if we don't we'll have to deal with Crawford never letting us live it down...and Takatori beating you over the head witha golf club again..  
  
Schuldig: *covers his head and whines* Fine...  
  
Nagi:Farf DON'T KILL IT!  
  
Chibi:*stops and glares at Nagi* WHAT DO YA MEAN IT?!?  
  
Farfello:*Trips over the chibi and sits up holding the Knife*  
  
Nagi: How did he do that without killing himself?  
  
Schuldig:It's Farfello...  
  
Nagi: Good point..  
  
Farfello:*trys to tackle the chibi*  
  
Nagi:*levitates the chibi over to Schuldig*  
  
Schuldig:*grabs the chibi by the shirt collar and holds it at arm length*THIS IS IT?!?! This is the brat that controls elements and is supposed to be deadly!  
  
Chibi: YUP! *Squirms trying to get away from Schuldig*  
  
Nagi:*pokes it* Have a name?  
  
Chibi: NIO NOW LET GO!  
  
Schuldig: No  
  
Nio:Yes  
  
Schuldig: No  
  
Nio:Yes  
  
Schuldig: No  
  
Nio:Yes  
  
Schuldig: No  
  
Nio:Yes  
  
Schuldig: No  
  
Nio:Yes  
  
Schuldig: No  
  
Nio:Yes  
  
Nagi:Not again  
  
Nio:*Sets Schuldig's hair on fire*  
  
Schuldig: AAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! PUT IT OUT! PUT IT OUT! *drops Nio*  
  
Nio: *lands on her butt and starts laugh histeriaclly*  
  
Nagi:uuuuuuuhhhhh  
  
Farfello: I WANNA DO IT TOO!  
  
Nagi:*grabs Nio and holds her over the edge of the building* Put Schuldig's hair out!  
  
Schuldig: AAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!!  
  
Nio:*shrieks and puts Schu's hair out*  
  
Schuldig: *grabs Nio looking like he's going to strangle her*  
  
Farfello:*starts to pout* No fair...  
  
Nagi:*grabs Nio and walks down the stairs both Schu and Farf following angrily and unhappily* 


	2. Farf gets to Babysit

(Mwahahahhahahahahahaha!!! I finally got my lazy lil' ass around ot writing the second chapter...or I could tell you the truth....I got grounded....yes grounded the innocent mwa got grounded because she was behind on school work.... -_-; Yea yea I know shut up Kat I can hear you laughing now.....and yes it starts off REAL slow but it'll get funnier..meh thinks....OH YEA disclaimer time..yay? I don't own That little song Nio sings it's done by Switchblade Symphony it's called wicked and yea I know the lyrics are a lil messed but thats the way Nio sings so it's supposed to be like that.....critics....and I do NOT own The Weiss Or Schwarz -Nio-)  
  
Nagi:*Walks into Schwarz HQ and walks off to find Crawford, still holding the chibi at arms length*  
  
Schuldig: *is following Nagi, and intends on getting rid of Nio as soon as humanly possible*  
  
Farfello: *Walks in behind Schuldig cradling his knife and glaring at Nio* Chibis don't hurt god......Killing chibis does....  
  
Crawford:*looks over his paper and raises an eyebrow* What's wrong now?  
  
Nagi: We got IT....  
  
Crawford: IT?  
  
Schuldig: I think "It" has rabies.....  
  
Nio:*cackles* It's my name and killings meh game...  
  
Crawford:yyyyyyyeeeeeaaaa....  
  
Nio: *growls and barks*  
  
Nagi: YOU TAKE IT SCHULDIG!  
  
Schuldig: I'M NOT GETTING BITTEN!  
  
Nio:*bites Nagi*  
  
Nagi: AGHHH!*throws Nio across the room*  
  
Crawford: AGH!! GET IT AWAY! *is trying to pry Nio off his paper*  
  
Nio:*lets go of the paper and is running back and forth on the couch chewing on the cushions and foaming at the mouth*  
  
Crawford, Nagi, Schuldig: O.O;;;;;;;;;;  
  
Farfello: Does Nagi have rabies?  
  
Nagi:..........*twitch*..............................rabies................. ...................AAAAGGGGGHHH!!!  
  
Crawford: Ok thats it! Schuldig! You go buy "IT" a collar and and I'll take Nagi to the doctors..  
  
Schuldig: Might wanna try the halfway house...  
  
Nagi:*twitches*  
  
Nio:*barks*  
  
Schuldig: O.o; Fine I'll go get it a collar...*Walks out*  
  
(what is with all the it business you ask? Good question...*Cackles* And for all you sick lil' people yes Nio is a girl I don't know why their calling her it...)  
  
Crawford:*Drags Nagi out of the room and shoves him i the car and drives away*  
  
Nio:*Stops barking and looks at Farf* YOU LEFT THE PSYCHHHHHHHOOOOOO!  
  
Farfello: *Blinks and looks around Realizing he's alone*  
  
Nio:......................*is thinking*...........................Uh oh.....................I ish in so much troubles......  
  
Farfello: *Pulls a knife off his tongue and launches himself at Nio* DIE ANGEL CHILD!!  
  
Nio: AAAAGGGGGHHHH!!! I THINK YOU'VE GOT ME CONFUSED WITH NAGI!!!!!!!OR OMMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! HELPPP MEEEEEE! Wait no ones here that won't work.....*Screams and runs away*  
  
Farfello:*Hits the wall with a resounding crack creating a large hole in the drywall*  
  
Nio:*cackles and holds a can of black spray paint and paints on the wall* Nio-1 Farf-0 *Thinks* Dats not wight.....nope not Personal..... *finishes of the can of spray paint with absoulute nonsene*  
  
Farfello:*Blinks and sits up looking at the wall and shrugs and runs at Nio*  
  
Nio: *looks up at Farf and doesn't move blinking and looking like true chibi should*  
  
Farfello: *Skids to a haul and looks down at her*  
  
Nio:*nods* Yep...I figure out what to do....  
  
Farfello: *Blinks*  
  
Nio: RUN AWAY!!!!!!!! *Runs in the other direction  
  
Farfello: *runs after her.....again*  
  
Nio: I AM THE QUEEN! *scampers up ontop of a tall cabinet doing a VERY odd dance* EXIT SIGNS! PAYING FINES! MOVE AHEAD!! I am the wicked one..... STREAMING BASE ON YOUR KNEES DECORATE SOME YOU PLEASE..I AM THE WICKED ONE!! MODEL RACE HOW IT SHOWS NEVER LEAVE IF I KNOW...I am the wicked one..BLINDDDDD BLINDDDDDD TO THE FANS AROUND YOUR MIND TIMEEEE TIMEEEEEEEE TO THE FANS WHO GATE TO BE REFINED BLINDDD BLINDDD PAPER IN THE BRINE BRINEEE BRINEEE THROUGH THE WINDSHEILD WE ALL FLLLLYYYYYY!! *bows* Thank you thank you!!  
  
Farfello: *twitch*  
  
Nio: *starts singing another song* (Again I don't own the Wicked or Clown! Their Switchblade Symphonys! Nio just likes to sing em'...^^;) CRYING LOUD YOU ARE CRAWLING ON THE FLOOR WHOA WHOA JUST BEAUTIFUL BABY YOUR NOTHING MORE..CLOSE YOUR EYES YOU ARE CRAWLING INTO SLEEP BEINGGG I SWARE I WON'T BREAK YOU IF YOU LET ME TAKE YOU WHERE THE WILLOWS NEVER WEEP! WHERE THE WILLOWS NEVER WEEP!! COMING QUICK INTO YOUR WONDER HER LIESIIEEEESSSS FLYING HIGH ON THESE WINGSSSSSS TRANQUEL LIEESSSS WELL JUST COME WITH ME AND I'LL MAKE YOU SEE WITH ME YOU'LL WANT TO STAY AND MAYBE COME OUT TO PLAYYYYY! whooaaaa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoooooaaaoaoaaa whoooooo down your going down your going down your going down your going down your going down your going down your going DDDOOOOWWWWNNN CIRCUS LIGHTS ARE SHUTTING SLOWLY DOWN BUT STILL YOUR UP IN THE AIR AND LOVING YOUR WINGS... MY DEAR YOU'LL PLAY THE CLOWN YOUR STILL UP IN THE AIR AND LOVING YOUR WINGS WHATS GONNA HAPPEN WHEN YOU COME DOOOWWWNNN! down your going....down your going...down your going...down your going...down your going..  
  
Farf:*throws knife at Nio*  
  
Nio:*stops singing and falls off the cabinet* ECK!CRITIC!  
  
Farello:*tackles Nio and cuts a large gash behind her ear*  
  
Nio: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!*Sounds like a wet Cat* (least the way my friends cat sounds annoying and high pitched)  
  
Farfello: DIIIIEEEEEE!  
  
Nio:*grabs the knife*  
  
Farfello: *drops Nio and lights a match and throws on the knife making it catch on fire* (Don't ask what's on it)  
  
Nio:*shrieks and throws the knife into a can of hairspray* O.O!! Hairspray........it's flammable.....DUCK AND COVER! *Trys to dive behind the couch before the hairspray explodes*  
  
Hairspray: Woe is me....*explodes*  
  
Farfello: *blinks and pulls a peice of hairspray can out of his arm and feels his now still hair* It's a weapon....!!!  
  
Nio: @.@ *Is hairsprayed to a wall* Crud.....  
  
Farfello:*Cackles*  
  
Nio: errrrr...... . I ish doooooooommmmmmmeeeeedddddddd! DOoOoOoOoOoOmed I say!  
  
Farfello: *stalks towards Nio* hhhmmm what to use Hair or knife....  
  
Nio: GAH! Er um eck I uhhhhhhh HEY FARF DOES A CAN OF SHAVING CREAM EXPLODE?!?!  
  
Farfello: *stops and blinks* Ummmm....*runs off and comes back with a can of hairspray*  
  
Nio: I SAVED MYSELFFF!  
  
Farfello: *Holds up a roll of duct tape*  
  
Nio: O.O Oh that can't be good!  
  
  
  
  
  
COMMERCAIL  
  
BREAK ^^'  
  
*ChibiNekoNio dances to Revolutionary Girl Utena ending theme(truth) and shaking her tail more than she should*  
  
  
  
END  
  
COMMERCIAL  
  
BREAK  
  
Farfello: *duct tapes Nio to the shaving cream can and sets it on a burner on the stove and turns it up*  
  
Nio: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH! IIIIIII'MMM GONNNAAAAA DIIIIIEEEEEE!  
  
Farfello: And?  
  
Nio: AND THE WARDEN SANG COME ON SOMEBODY WHY DON'T YA RUN? OLD RED'S ITCH'N TO HAVE A LITTLE FUN GET MY LANTERN AND GET MY GUN RED'LL HAVE YOUR TAIL BEFORE THE MORNIN COMES!(Old Red by Blake Shelton)  
  
Farfello: AGH COUNTRY MUSIC STOP IT!  
  
Nio: *cackles and gulps* uh oh...  
  
Shaving Cream can: Oh dear oh dear what ever shall I do..*Goes BOOM*  
  
Nio: *Is pinned to the wall by shaving cream can reminants* @_@ owie.......  
  
Farfello:*cackles and wipes the shainv gcream off Nio all except for around her mouth* Now your rabid!  
  
Crawford:*walks in dragging a still twitchy Nagi*  
  
Nagi: *twitch*  
  
Schuldig:*walks in carrying a dog collar* AGH!!!WHAT happened?!?  
  
Crawford:*twitchs*  
  
Nio:Their TWITCHY!  
  
Nagi: SHE'S RABIDDDDD!!!  
  
Crawford: WHAT HAPPENED?!?  
  
Schuldig: It's an echo!!  
  
Crawford: Shut up....  
  
Nio:Farfy ducty taped me to a can and it went BOOM!  
  
Nagi:*Random twitch*  
  
Schuldig:Better not have been mine...  
  
Crawford: *twitchs with Nagi*  
  
Schuldig: Shouldn't have you forseen this Crawford??  
  
Crawford: SHUT UP!  
  
Nagi:*twitchs* I'm*twitch* Going to my *twitch* room...  
  
Schuldig: And I ain't cleaning it up...*walks off to his room*  
  
Crawford: I'M NOT DOING IT! *runs off to his room*  
  
Farfello:*shrugs* I'm gonna go hurt god....*walks of to his room too*  
  
Nio: *blinks* I little help?! HELLO??!? HEY! PEOPLE!  
  
End(for now*cackles insanely*) 


	3. Bath Time!

(I'm backkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk! Oh and I read my stories...terrible spelling. I shall correct that, yes I shall. Oh and yes this isn't as stupid...It's mellowed out slightly.)  
  
Schuldig: *is sitting in the living room, rubbing his temples* Make it stoppppp!  
  
Nio: *is banging on pots and pans* LALALALALALALALALALALALLALALALALALALALAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!  
  
Nagi: *walks in* Dear god Who's killing cat?  
  
Nio:*stops* Ok...that was low.....  
  
Nagi: *Rolls his eyes* It wasn't low....thats what it sounded like..  
  
Nio: Tch...your deaf..*goes back to banging pots*  
  
Crawford: *staggers in grabbing the spoon from Nio and hitting her over the head with it repeatedly* Asprin!!  
  
Nio: *snickers* You want asprin your gonna have to stick your hand down the garbage disposal...  
  
Crawford: Fuck...  
  
Schuldig: I told you she wasn't worth it...the little Demons gonna kill us all.  
  
Nio: *is rolling on the ground scratching her hair* Itchy!! Itchy!! I-T-C-H- Y! *rubs against Crawford's leg* (Not like that you pervs.)  
  
Crawford: AGH! *jumps into a chair* Don't touch me!  
  
Nagi: Oh great now it has the chicken pox.  
  
Nio: Nu uhhhhhhhhhhhh! Already had em so there! *sticks out her tongue*  
  
Crawford:*Crawls off the chair and brushes himself off straightening his glasses* Then what? Nagi go give her a bath..  
  
Nagi: Ew! I'm not doing that!  
  
Schuldig:*Snickers* Oh come on Nags...It's not like she's 24...  
  
Nagi: *Shakes his head, running to his bedroom* I have...homework....yes Homework...thats it. *slams the door*  
  
Crawford: *rolls his eyes* Schuldig. Your babysitting today, Were still cleaning up after Farfello's mess.  
  
Schuldig: O.O! WHAT?! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?! I can't babysit it! It'll kill me!!  
  
Nio: *goes all Stitch like* RAWR!  
  
Schuldig: *Girly scream* KEEP IT AWAY!!  
  
Crawford: *Rolls his eyes* Pull yourself together man! It's two!  
  
Nio: 4..  
  
Crawford: Whatever...Just make sure it doesn't DIE, and it doesn't kill someone, or blow something up.  
  
Schuldig: Oh sure why don't you ask me to give birth to a kid to.  
  
Crawford: *walks off* You can do that in your own spare time...  
  
Nio: RAWRRRRRRRRR! *does a growl and crawls around on all fours* Rawr!!  
  
Schuldig: Help me.....*stalks over and trys to grab Nio*  
  
Nio: Rawr! *bites his hand*  
  
Schuldig: Ow! god damnit! You little monster!  
  
Nio:Rawr!! Rawl! Rawr!! *stands up dancing around in circles*  
  
Schuldig: *Grabs the collar of her shirt hoisting her up* Bath time Demon...  
  
Nio: NoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo!! not waterrrrr! noooooo! *pretends to die*  
  
Schuldig:*walks into the bathroom and draws the water locking Nio in the bathroom as he goes to get a towel and clean clothes for her*  
  
Nio: *is clawing at the door* Helpppp stitch no like water! Rawr!  
  
Schuldig:*opens the door, 'accidently' bashing Nio in the face*  
  
Nio:*falls back* Ow....@.@  
  
Schuldig: *Smirks* Oops?  
  
Nio: Your dispicable....  
  
Schuldig: Do you even know what that means?  
  
Nio: No...but I saw it in a cartoon once...  
  
Schuldich: *Rolls his eyes, setting the clothes and towel down, picking up Nio and sets her down in the sink taking off her clothes with a disgusted look and literally drops her in the tub*  
  
Nio: RAWR! Nooooooo I'm melting I'm melting!!!  
  
Schuldig: Oh shut up...*puts his hand on her head, dunking her under water and then pulls her back up grabbing the shampoo*  
  
Nio: *is choking* Geh! Gawd...some father you'll make someday..*splashes him*  
  
Schuldig: AGH! You little brat..I don't intend on having children. *pours the shampoo on her hair, lathering it and then dunking her under again*  
  
Nio: AGHHHH! *screams underwater bubbles breaking the surface*  
  
Schuldig: *Drags her up* there...clean hair.  
  
Nio-*Coughs, and hacks* This....bath will....kill me....  
  
Schuldig: *rolls his eyes again, grabbing a wash cloth and soap sudsing(is that a real word?) the washcloth and grabs her hand giving it to her* Wash.. *pulls the curtain closed* Gawd...I am not meant to give children baths..I am not meant for children period.  
  
Nio: *Stares at the wash cloth, blinking and dunks it underwater* Doneeeeeeeee!  
  
Schuldig: *Sighs, and pulls back the curtain holding out his hand*  
  
Nio: *makes half the water in the bathtub crash into schu*  
  
Schuldig: *Stands there, hadn still out soaking wet, twitching slightly* You....little....brat...  
  
Nio-*falls backwards laughing her ass off* You drip!!  
  
Schuldig:*practically dives into the tub holding Nio's head underwater*  
  
Nio-*Glugglug*  
  
Crawford: *runs in and drags Schuldig off* No Killing her! *lets go of him hodling his nose* God you smell like a wet dog.  
  
Nio*sits up* I am a zombieeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!  
  
Schuldig:*grabs the towel, wrapping it aorund Nio, dragging her out of the tub and drainging the water* Get dressed. Were going somewheres. 


End file.
